Røntofte for Kids

Everyday Life
We eat all meals together from Monday to Friday. Breakfast is at 9:30, lunch at 13:00, and dinner is at 18:00. During the weekend, the women facilitate their own cooking, and a schedule is coordinated with the kitchen manager. We value the community centred around the meals, which at the same time provides structure to the day, especially for the youngest children. We know that mealtimes and children can be a challenge. At Crisis Centre Røntofte, it is the moms who decide what the children can eat, and it is also the mothers who give the children food. Eating together gives a lot of care and presence, and mothers and children get the opportunity to experience eating together as nice and not just a task to finish as quickly as possible. The children can participate in different activities, which our pedagogic staff will facilitate. The activities are offered, when mum is at a meeting, receiving treatment or having an individual conversation with a psychologist at the crisis centre. When the mothers are occupied, the pedagogic staff or the volunteer staff will take care of the children. The crisis centre should not be viewed as a common day-care centre, where the child is handed over every day. The mum and child/children must find, as far as possible, a routine that resembles everyday life with a structure which the child can recognise. The crisis centre is a temporary shelter provided for people experiencing violence within their close relations.

Teaching
At Crises Centre Røntofte we have a private teacher. For that reason, we offer training in ordinary classes from elementary school, language lessons and classes for the dyslexic.

Playing and having fun
The playroom is the children’s universe. We have LEGO, computer games, tv, board games, puzzles, colouring books, plenty of toys and books to read out loud from. It is the mom who is responsible to tidy up after playtime. When the room is tidy, it creates a place to play, which is calming and gives and overview for both the children and the mothers. The playroom contains two computers. The rule is, that you have to be at least 10 years old, to play on the PC. Mom is more than welcome to borrow games, books, drawing utilities as per agreement with the pedagogic staff.

Playing outdoors
You can go to the outdoors playground with your mom. Røntofte also has a lovely big garden where it is possible to do outdoors activities and burn off energy. The big swing is popular with both the big and small children. At the playground the kids can roll down the hill, go down the slide, “bake cakes”, dig tunnels in the sandbox, play restaurant or shop in the playhouse and go exploring in the small forest which is part of the playground. Sometimes an adult from the centre will join you at the playground.



Friends visiting
If security precautions allow it, your friends can come over. You can go visit your friends at their house and if it is your birthday we will celebrate at the centre and provide a gift.

Other children
Multiple children are staying at the centre with their mom. You will get to know the other children and might become very good friends. Some children are very small, others might be a bit older than you. You will have plenty of time to play together. The unique about Røntofte is, that someone is always moving out. New people arrive and others leave. That is the way at a crises centre, and one day, you will be the one moving out. When that happen, you are always welcome to come back and visit us.

Moms responsibility
As a starting point, we believe that mom is always is right. Meaning mom makes all decisions regarding her child. You decide if the child can have a glass of water and you decide what they can and cannot eat. We expect you to reprimand your own child when necessary. You should expect the same regarding the other moms as well. It is easier for everyone when the we know that mom is in charge. That way, the kid only needs to ask one adult permission. We would like to give the responsibility for the children back to mom since, some might have experienced that their role as a parent/ their responsibility has been taken from them back home. Your mom decides when you are going to bed. You might consult the pedagogic staff, about what bedtime is most appropriate for your age. We have a big board in the house, where all the kid’s bedtimes ate listed.

Our responsibility and duty
A crises centre is subjected to enhanced notification. This means, that if we become worried and think that you, as a mom, needs more help to get better, we will support you in getting that help. If you choose to go back to a place, where your children will be exposed to violence, by law, we must notify the social authorities


Child psychology
Children has the right to feel loved and protected. Children that grow up in families suffering from domestic violence are heavily burdened. A child’s experience with violence within close relations is traumatising and it can inhibit the child’s emotional development. Violence harms the child integrity, confidence, attachment, trust to the child’s caregivers, a healthy connection to others and the ability to regulate feeling and behaviour. One of the most important people in the child’s life is the mother, who can help mend some of the psychological damages which might have developed from the child experiences at home. For the mother to help her child, she will need help to re-establish the psychological balance. At Crises Centre Røntofte we work hard to stabilize battered women trough e.g. therapy and deliberate contact massage which stimulates the woman’s positive contact with herself and her children. At Røntofte, child psychology cooperates with the pedagogic staff to help the women re-establish a healthy contact to their children. The mom and child will receive individual help in order to create a improving relation amongst them.

Children must never doubt that they can trust and get help/ support from their mother
At Crises Centre Røntofte the women will be guided by the pedagogic staff on how to help their child regulate emotions like sadness, anger, fear and shame. The mother will become aware of the presence, care and understanding of the child’s reactions needed to help the child improve its contact to him/herself and other. It will also be needed in order to create a safe connection to the mother.

Humans have a fundamental emotional need to be seen and understood by others
The child psychologist will conduct a couple of interviews with the mom, to understand the family situation, previous experiences, resources, vulnerabilities, important people to the mother and child etc. At the crises centre, the child will be interviewed individually 4-10times or more by the child psychologist. The child is given an opportunity to express his/ her specific feelings and thoughts. The child will get help to process negative experience with domestic violence and try to understand what has happened. The mother will be invited to join the conversation when the child psychologist estimates that it will makes sense, and only if the child agrees. The mother can certify what the child has experienced, which makes the child feel less wrong.

When humans create meaning from experiences, and when we get help to create context between our physical reactions, thoughts and emotions, we achieve inner peace
At the crises centre, the child is given the opportunity to form new “relation-experiences” with the pedagogues, our diligent childcare assistant and the child psychologist. The child psychologist collaborates with the mother in order to reduce the risk of the child forming symptoms and psychological illnesses such as anxiety and depression later in life. At the crises centre the pedagogic staff works concerning that both child and mother can utilize their potential.